The proposal is the first huge step of any future husband and one of the most stressful they will encounter. How do you pop the question? When is the appropriate time? Is she ready to get married?
These are all valid concerns; however, if you have come to the realization that she is the one and you are ready to make that leap, then you need the following dos and don’ts to ensure that your proposal goes off without a hitch.
Do: Create a surprise proposal…but not too much of a surprise
There are studies that have proven that one of the factors that make a proposal great for a woman is that it is not expected. However, you should also not jump the gun and ask a woman to marry you on your third date. You need to ensure that you have been in a committed relationship for a while, have declared your love for each other and have discussed marriage and the future.
Don’t: Put it off too for too long
While no one is trying to push you to the altar, the actual fear of the proposal oftentimes keeps men from getting to the altar. While chances are that if she loves you she will accept a tardy proposal, but the timing is very important. She will give you signs when she is ready to hear the question; be sure you are watching for them.
Do: Ensure the proposal is the one of her dreams – not your dreams
This is your one shining moment in time to show her exactly how much you love her and how much you want to spend the rest of your life with her and that you want to ensure that she is happy and continues to be happy. While you have that in mind, you need to create a proposal that will truly make her heart jump; not one that will make your buddies give you a high-five. Chances are that she has been dropping hints; make sure you are paying attention.
Don’t: Underestimate the overall power of a simple gesture
Even if your lady is completely modern, chances are that she will still appreciate some good old-fashioned chivalry. Does she love roses or champagne? If so, make sure you bring some along for the proposal. There are also many women that still like the idea that you would ask her parents for their blessing prior to proposing. This can provide a bonding opportunity for you and your future father-in-law, as well.
However, there is no single gesture that will mean as much as when a man gets down on one knee to propose. While it is not essential, it is romantic and old-fashioned and can work wonders to sweep her off of her feet.
Do: Pick a location that is memorable
Picking the perfect location for a proposal can make a huge difference; however, this does not mean that you have to jet to an exotic island or move a mountain. In fact, you can choose a location that has significance for the two of you; for example, the place where you visited on your first date, at home by candlelight or on the front porch of her mom’s and dad’s home.
Don’t: Worry about the proposal being perfect
There are always factors that may come up and ruin your plan; however, you should not let this deter you. You can still propose in a memorable way, so be sure that you do not get sidetracked by bad weather or some other unexpected factor. In fact, to ensure that this does not deter you ensure that you create a plan B and maybe even plan C for various possibilities.
Do: Consider what time of day you are asking
While there is no right or wrong time of day that you should propose, you may want to consider when the best mood will be available. You need to consider what is right for you; one couple may love early morning, while others find twilight the most romantic. Don’t forget to factor in this aspect when creating your proposal plans.
Don’t: Obsess about the ring
While the majority of women do claim that they want a proposal to include a ring, there are some that would be willing to forego the ring in favour of a surprise and being able to pick out what they really want. However, if the groom-to-be knows the style that she likes then they may go ahead and pick out a ring ahead of the proposal. Additionally, there are a number of jewellery stores that will allow you to exchange the ring later on in order to get one that better suits your bride-to-be.
Do: Be sure to speak directly from your heart
The only horrible proposal is one that is not sincere. Your future bride will be able to tell if you do not mean what you are saying. Additionally, this is a clear sign that you are not ready and that you will have a much higher chance of getting a divorce later on down the road. If you are not ready, truly ready, to get married, then you should wait to propose.
Don’t: Propose in front of an audience – unless you are certain that she would like that
In most cases women prefer a private or at least a semi-private proposal. In these cases, you both are much more likely to be candid and expressive about your feelings. If there are a large amount of onlookers she or you may feel pressured to answer or say certain things. Consider carefully how she feels about privacy and then plan your proposal according to these considerations.
The bottom line to consider when it comes to proposing is that you should just do it. You do not have to stage a huge and elaborate event. If you are ready and she has given signs that she is ready, then it is high time to pop the question.