Questions (most) brides and grooms don’t ask (but probably should)!

No one ever said that planning a wedding was going to be a one-and-done affair; and sometimes it can seem as if everyone is speaking another language. If you haven’t got a clue what are boutonnieres or how it differs from bomboniere, then we’ve got the answers for you…

Can we actually get married?

The first thing you’ve got to do in the UK to make sure you can even get married is check that you fulfil the three basic requirements. These can be found on the gov.uk website along with more details about special cases. The minimum is that you’re both:

  • 16 years of age or over
  • Not closely related to your intended spouse
  • Able to freely marry (i.e. single, widowed, or divorced)

If you’re getting married in England, Scotland and Wales, you’ll also need permission from your parents if you’re under 18 years of age.

Remember that as of March 13th 2014, it is perfectly legal for same-sex couples to get married in England and Wales as well as Scotland (since December 16th 2014). While legalisation is now in effect, couples can still opt for a civil partnership – but this is only available for same-sex couples.

Who has to plan the wedding?

Although it seems like the bride is always the one to organise the wedding (and let’s face it, they’re usually the one more enthused about the whole planning process), this isn’t always the case. It isn’t unusual for couples to organise in equal partnership, or for the groom to take the lead.

It’s always important to remember that it isn’t just the bride of groom’s big day; it’s a joint affair! So just because one half isn’t excited about planning the nitty-gritty, they shouldn’t be left out of all the decision making.

And if we’re being honest, it’s often a great trial of what married life is going to be like!

Who gives speeches at the wedding?

Yet again, tradition seems to cause confusion on what is supposed to happen on the wedding day, in particular regarding speeches. Often, the groom will make a speech on behalf of his new bride and so will the father of the bride.

This seems to have fallen by the wayside in recent weddings; of course there isn’t always a bride (or a groom for that matter) and perhaps a special someone might want to buck the trend. What do we suggest? Anyone who wants to give a speech should be allowed to, or at least considered. It’s your wedding so you can do what you want.

Wedding themes: what’s the difference between vintage and rustic?

When you’re in the midst of your planning, you’ll see these two words everywhere and often many of the elements will creep into your wedding even if you didn’t intend them to… or even know what they are!

A vintage wedding is one that borrows from the beauty of the past, be it as far back the steampunk style of the Victorians to something as recent as the 40’s or 50’s. That could mean an inspired dress code, a lace heavy ceremony, or other period features. It’s all about being classically romantic.

On the other hand, a rustic wedding is one inspired by the literal rustic simplicity of outdoors-y country life with a hay bale or two thrown in for good measure. Think classy bumpkin, think barns, benches and hessian.

You don’t have to go all out on one of these themes; you can pick and choose what you like best and mix and match to find a style you like. There’s not a ban on rustically vintage weddings at all.

Are groomsmen and bridesmaids necessary?

Don’t be fooled by the million-and-one wedding snaps you see featuring a bevy of bridesmaids or group of groomsmen; your wedding doesn’t have to have them if you don’t want. Generally these are choice positions within the wedding party given to people special.

Often, they’re not just there to look good when you’re saying your vows, they’re also there to lend you support before, and during, the wedding. It’s a way some couples honour people special to them by making them part of their big day.

What the on Earth is bomboniere?

Don’t worry, we didn’t just make up a word to confuse you. They’re actually small tokens given by the newlywed couple to their guests. These wedding favours traditionally consisted of sugared almonds but nowadays they can be anything you choose.

A photo frame, seedlings, or even small bag of sweets can all be given away. It’s also not a requirement to have bomboniere at you wedding, but it’s a nice gift to give your guests and can work as a reminder for your big day.

Where should we hold the reception?

Many couple opt for the traditional wedding at a church and then move on to a reception venue, while other decide to double up and find a licensed venue to do both. In reality the reception can be anywhere you want.

Restaurants are popular and so are wineries, but if you want to use parkland, country houses or even your own backyard, you can! There’s no set guidebook on where you should hold you reception, just keep your budget in mind and don’t spring for something you can’t afford because you think you should.

Themed wedding: yes or no?

There’s no doubting the popularity of themed weddings, and with some of the pictures we’ve seen, it’s obvious why. As with everything else in your wedding, it’s entirely your decision as a couple. A wedding theme doesn’t mean you have to make your guests dress up, and could instead be something as simple as a shade of lilac that will run throughout the day.

If you’re passionate about something in particular, then feel free to base your wedding around that theme; it’ll show your individuality and unique personalities. It’s your big day so you can do what you want.

We’ve written our own vows, but should be write them down?

It’s one of the most important parts of your wedding ceremony, and many couples spend ages coming up with the perfect vows, so you want to get it right. While it might be nice if you’re both able to memorise your vows, we appreciate it’s not always possible.

If you’re prone to nerves, or have got a particularly long and complicated set of vows, then don’t be afraid to write them down and keep a copy in a pocket (or easily retrievable via a member of the bridal party). Consider making your notes look nice however; a nice looking piece of embroidered card might be nicer and fit better with your theme than a crinkled snub of lined A4.

As with everything, do what you feel comfortable with.

Have we answered you question? Why not get in touch in the comments below and let us know!

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