How not to be a bride or groomzilla

In the lead up to your wedding, life can get totally hectic. Stress and anxiety levels rise and you can see a side of yourself that you’re not used to seeing: your inner ‘bridezilla’ or ‘groomzilla’. For some, avoiding turning into their inner ‘zilla’ will be hard. You may already be a huge perfectionist or worry a lot, so you’ll need to be extra careful that this doesn’t happen to you.

You can stop it before it fully takes over and you’ll want to. You’ll hardly enjoy your wedding if the entire lead up to it was riddled with stress and negative energy. It’s time to shake it off and keep calm. Here are our tips for keeping your cool in the lead up to your wedding.

Remember that it’s just one day

Sensual and elegant bride in the forest

Thanks to a lot of media and influence we have around us in the lead up to our weddings, we can often feel like our wedding days are the be all and end all. They are obviously an important time in everyone’s life, however, the day itself needn’t be seen as this perfect day where nothing can go wrong.

Let’s be honest, something will go wrong at or during the lead up to your wedding. It may be minor or major. It could be as small as your garter slipping down as you walk down the aisle. It might be major like your DJ cancelling at the last minute. Everyone has these issues as weddings take so much time and effort. But remember this when you start to panic about one of these issues: it’s just one day. The wedding will still go ahead and if you let yourself relax, you’ll have the best day ever and tomorrow is another day, ready for you to tackle it.

Focus on the marriage, not the wedding

Closeup of Marriage Certificate License Paper

A really good way to stop those ‘zilla’ vibes from creeping in is to focus on the marriage, not the wedding. Your partner and you are promising to spend your lives together and that’s the important take away from your wedding. Not every detail at your wedding needs to be perfect for you to have a beautiful and happy marriage, so don’t sweat the small stuff and focus on the life you’ll live post-wedding instead.

Don’t treat your bridal party poorly

Fabulous bride walking, posing and having fun with her bridesmaids in the downtown on a wedding day.

An important thing to remember when it comes to your wedding is that you have to treat your bridal party like the close friends or family that they are. The sign of turning into a bride-or-groom-zilla is that you start to demand things from your bridal party as if they’re staff, rather than your closest pals. Remember that they’ve likely sacrificed a lot to be in your bridal party in terms in travel, cost and time, so be kind to them and ask for help, don’t demand it.

Be considerate

wedding, decoration, celebration, floral design, holidays concept - romantic table setting with white tablecloth, plates, crystal goblets, beautiful bouquet of roses and peonies and candels

When it comes to you picking the members of your bridal party, consider the budget of each person. Charging ahead and demanding that your bridal party buy the expensive outfits of your choosing, demanding that they spend excessive time and money on the hen/ stag night or even that they must be there for every event is too intense. Not all of your friends can commit fully time-wise or budget-wise, so be considerate and understanding when you pick your bridal party.

Don’t treat the paid staff poorly

Hands of florist woman creating bouquets

If things are starting to go wrong in the lead up to your wedding, it’s easy to point fingers, cast blame and generally act unkindly. It’s crucial that you keep your cool and not take things out on the people you’re paying. People tend to lose their empathy for others when they’re being rude to them and this is not what you want. If your flowers are going to arrive late, take a deep breath and calmly explain to the florist that this is your wedding and you need them to be there. Guaranteed they’ll make a bigger effort to get them to you on time.  Being reasonable and calm will get your much further than being angry and rude will.

Be respectful of your staff

Hands of florist woman creating bouquets

People working in the wedding industry are unlikely to be millionaires. They do this work because they love weddings. The last thing they want is for you is to disrespect them by expecting more than what you’re paying them for. They’re people too and have lives outside of this so if you’re wanting your photographer to stay late, then discuss it with them prior to booking them and pay them for it. You wouldn’t work for free, so don’t expect them too.

Give your staff breaks

Luxury, elegant wedding reception table arrangement, floral centerpiece

This is crucial. You can’t expect your videographer or photographer to be on their feet constantly throughout your wedding. If you’ve hired them for the whole day then they’re going to need food and bathroom breaks throughout the day, they’re not robots. So treat them like people and tell them to take breaks and give them a seat and a meal at your reception. They’ll appreciate you thinking about them and will likely capture better photos as a result.

Don’t haggle

Luxury Delicious Appetizer Serving

Often the people who work in the wedding industry are creatives. They are big on sharing their art with the world and they often don’t charge much more than their actual costs. Because of this, please don’t haggle. Just don’t. If you want a bargain, then shop around first and find a good price. But don’t try to get a gourmet 6 course meal for the price of a hotdog food truck. It’s not nice for the person on the other end and you’ll come off super rude. High quality products come with higher price tags, that’s just the way things are.

Don’t micromanage

Smiled red haired bride siiting with groom at car and looking from window at rain.

For some of us (me included), micromanaging is a real issue. It’s hard to relinquish control and let someone else take the reins, but let’s think about this, this is likely your first wedding. Your photographer or chef has been doing them for years and years and has loads of experience. So just let them do their thing as they’re way more qualified than you are.

Abiding by these rules will keep you relaxed, limit the stress you have prior to your wedding and keep your inner ‘zilla’ from emerging – so stick to them at all costs!

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