I’m having a superhero-themed wedding. I’m dressing up as Catwoman and have asked my best friend of about 20 years to be my bridesmaid. She is refusing to dress up as Wonder Woman and says she’ll only attend as a guest if I force her to wear a costume – but the entire bridal party will be wearing a costume. I’m so, so upset, I don’t know what to do.
Your feelings are quite understandable. It’s your wedding day and you want your nearest and dearest with you and you want them dressed in an assortment of capes, tights and helmets.
The thing is, you may want to step into your bridesmaid’s shoes, erm boots, for a moment.
While Lynda Carter looked pretty darn smashing in that iconic Wonder Woman outfit, the fact is not everyone will look quite so fabulous.
Even if your bridesmaid is a svelte six-foot glamazon with a size-eight waist, she may not be comfortable in your chosen outfit.
Of course, she may simply not like the outfit (rather than being opposed to dressing up) but it’s more likely she’s not comfortable (or confident enough) parading around all day with so little on.
The thing is, yes, it’s your day, and yes you want her in your bridal party but it’s also probably just as hard on her being asked to wear an outfit she clearly doesn’t want to wear.
Have you asked her why she’s refusing to dress as Wonder Woman?
If it’s one of the reasons above and not that she’s flat-out against dressing up altogether, you don’t have too many options. If it’s the Wonder Woman outfit she’s against specifically, maybe you could offer her another choice of superhero costume or, better yet, ask her to suggest a costume she’d be more comfortable wearing?
Either way, the fact is, you can’t force her to wear the outfit, so the most logical option is to simply let her attend as a guest. That way, she’s doesn’t miss your wedding and you don’t miss having her there.
You both understand why she’s not in the bridal party and that she’s not being left out in any way and you could always assign her other important roles during the day.
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