There’s something wonderful about that moment when you start to realise you may have found The One. That perfect person you can create a life with and grow old alongside. So, how do you know that’s happened? Well for starters, your heart will probably give you all the clues you need via sustained doses of butterflies and joy. But there’s actually lots of little signs that can point to the arrival of Mr or Mrs Right. Here are 10 to look out for.
The chemistry is sizzling
This one may seem an obvious start, but a great relationship needs chemistry and desire as well as personality – otherwise we would all just marry our friends. That’s not to say it will always be raging, but a healthy sex life and attraction to each other is an important part of a satisfying relationship – and one that will last through the decades.
You love to hang out together
As we just said, chemistry and ‘spark’ are crucial. But true lifelong compatibility also comes down to a meeting of minds and personalities where you have enough in common – and enough different – to qualify as best friends. So if time chilling on the couch or chatting as you cook dinner is just as enjoyable as a movie or an overseas trip, you can rest assured you’ve got a great basis for happily ever after.
Trust is a must
Let’s be honest. Every one of us can have moments of jealousy or insecurity, but in a healthy relationship these are rare – and in no way justified. You can’t be with each other 24 hours a day, so you need to be able to trust your partner completely to stay true to your commitment. If you worry every time they’re on a night out with their mates, that’s cause for concern. But if the only question you have afterwards is: “Did you have a good time?”, then things are on the right track.
You can’t imagine life without them
Life can get unpredictable at times. And that’s part of its joy and it’s sadness. Jobs can change, finances can go up and down, friends and relatives can come and go. But in amidst the change it’s important to have an anchor point – that person who is a constant source of love and reassurance, who keeps you grounded as the world turns upside down. If you’ve found that in your partner – and can’t imagine going through life’s changes without them – it’s a pretty good sign you’ve got the soulmate factor going on.
Two families are one
Getting married isn’t just a union of two people – it’s a union of two families. And unlike Romeo and Juliet, it’s ideal that everyone gets on. Of course this isn’t possible with all families, but if you love and adore yours, it’s important that your partner is happy to spend time with them and make an effort to become part of the clan as well. You should be prepared to do the same with their family as well, to the point where you’ve gained not just a partner but an extended family, one which will support you both as you plan a future together.
Quirks are cool
We all have our own little quirks. Those little personality ticks that make us, us. To some people these things could be an annoyance, but the right person will take them in their stride, find them endearing and always make note of them, to the point where you don’t have to remind them that you always sit on the aisle at the movies – they will have already booked you the end seat.
Mornings are trauma free
Mornings are not most people’s finest hour. And truthfully, we’ve probably all had that moment of giving ourselves a spruce-up while our bedmate sleeps on. But with the right person, that thought won’t even enter your head, because when their eyes open they won’t take note of bad hair or morning breath. They’ll simply thank their lucky stars for another day of getting to wake up beside you.
Silence is golden
Great conversations underscore great relationships. But great moments of silence are just as important. Not the post-fight ‘I’m not talking to you’ kind, but the ones where you have nothing urgent to say, and that’s OK. You’re comfortable simply being near each other but focusing on something else, whether it’s a good book, a great movie or even just flicking through Facebook.
They love you for you
Marriage brings together two people who aim to be more than the sum of their parts. And that can bring some wonderful benefits. One may offer great tips for better style. The other may be able to help improve budgeting skills. Together they help each other become more rounded. But a full-scale makeover should never be the aim. You partner up with someone because you love and respect them for who they are, so if your list of things that need changing is long, and targets the fundamentals rather than the incidentals, it’s pretty clear you’re probably not with the right person.
They tick off a checklist you didn’t even know you had
Everyone has a type, one that’s probably been shaped by outside influences such as Hollywood movies. But what we think we want, and what is actually great for us, can be two different things. You may be sure you like tall, dark and handsome, only to find out that blonde and medium height – but with a wicked sense of humour – is exactly right for you. Ditto someone you mightn’t look at twice on the street, but who’s caring nature provides just the extra dose of nurturing you need. Or someone who can talk for hours about you favourite topic. It’s proof positive that it’s what inside that counts. So if you’ve found someone who makes you feel like the centre of their universe, and vice versa, then you’ve stumbled on that precious gift called real love. Treat it carefully and enjoy every adventure life has in store for you.
And finally, if you’re looking for the words to express your love for your partner, look no further than the mighty William Shakespeare, who said it best in The Tempest: “I wish not wish any companion in the world but you.”