Hen parties should be pretty straight forward. It’s a gathering with your closest friends and tends to involve doing something that you find super fun. It sounds easy enough but it can come with many issues that you might not be predicting. So here are some common dilemmas that many women face when it comes to hen’s parties.
Should the hen’s night be a surprise or planned with the bride?
The surprise hen’s night is a tricky one to manoeuvre. It depends on so many different things. Is the bride likely to want to organise her own party? Is the bride into surprises? Will the bride be upset if she can’t do a particular activity on her hen’s night? There are a lot of questions to ask yourself and many things to figure out.
Ultimately, the surprise factor will come down to the bride. If you’re the maid of honour and you happen to know that the bride loves surprises or is quite spontaneous, then a surprise party may be the way to go.
But if you’re not sure, then plan it together. Or she might even have her own plan too. A bride who is very organised and not very spontaneous will likely want to plan her own party and likely already has ideas.
Realistically, it is unlikely that if you’re the maid of honour, you’ll need to plan a surprise hen’s night. Brides these days tend to know what they want so it would be odd for them to expect you to do everything and them to just sit back and relax. You’ll probably find that as soon as you mention the hen’s night, that the bride will began to tell you what she’s thinking for it. If you’ve got a few ideas too, then there’s nothing stopping you from planning something amazing together.
Should mums be invited?
As with the surprise, inviting mums is going to vary from bride to bride. If you’re planning a very raucous affair and you expect the night to get a little wild, then inviting your mum or future mother-in-law may not feel appropriate. You want to spend the night enjoying yourself and not worrying about whether you’re behaving appropriately. So if you’re planning on letting loose, don’t invite them.
However, if you’re going for a night that’s a little less wild and you happen to be very close with your mum, then of course you’re going to want to invite her. This is all unique to what kind of personality you have and the relationship you share with your mum and your future mother-in-law too.
If you’re the maid of honour planning this for your friend, make sure you consider everything before discounting the idea of inviting the bride’s mum. She may end up feeling really sad if her mum isn’t there, so you really need to confirm whether she would prefer her there or not. You can just ask this; it doesn’t need to be a big deal.
If you think that the night will end up a little on the wild side, consider having something like high tea or a sit down lunch where the mums are invited. This way you can still have your mum along for the celebration, but when things start getting a little crazy, they will be spared seeing you dance and drink too many tequila shots.
Stripper or no stripper?
Tradition dictates that all women should have a stripper at their hen do. This is all well and good if you think this activity will be one that you and your hens will find fun. Lots of women do find this to be very fun. They think a hen’s night isn’t complete without a stripper and so simply must have one.
However, if you’re someone who isn’t into this kind of thing, then definitely don’t feel pressured by your hens to book one. If it’s not you, then don’t force it.
If you’re planning the hen’s night for the bride and you’re unsure about whether she’ll want a stripper or not, then consider what kind of personality she has. If she finds it easy to laugh at situations that may cause others stress or if her favourite movie is Magic Mike, then she definitely would be an ideal candidate for a stripper.
If she’s quite conservative or serious, then perhaps skip the stripper and plan something a bit more wholesome instead.
One night or more?
These days, hen’s nights don’t have to be just single night affairs. They can be entire weekends away where many activities are dedicated to the bride’s upcoming marriage. You have to determine whether the bride-to-be will want a longer hen’s celebration or if they’re a one-night kind of girl.
There are many different factors that should be considered when it comes to the length of the celebration. Firstly, there’s the bride’s personality. If the bride is big on travel, then a weekend away somewhere may be the perfect send-off for her before she gets married. If the bride loves to be pampered, then perhaps a spa weekend may be the best thing for her.
Your bride may also make it clear that she doesn’t want her hen’s night to be too over the top. This of course would mean that you wouldn’t book anything away, you’d do something low key and nearby. You have to make sure the bride will be happy if you’re doing the planning for her. There are many things to consider when you’re looking into what type of party is appropriate.
The other thing to consider is finances. The bride may be inviting a number of people to her hen’s night and would want them all to come. When you plan a lengthier hen’s celebration, inevitably there are going to be certain friends or family that can’t afford to come along. You and the bride will need to consider if you want a one-night party where more friends can come along or a lengthier getaway where only some friends will be able to make it.