Help! I’m a bridesmaid but what do I do?

Being a bridesmaid can be confusing, after all, some end up doing lots for the wedding, while others need only turn up on the day looking gorgeous! If you’re new to the role of bridesmaid, here is the low-down on what a bridesmaid does.

What are my responsibilities as a bridesmaid?

The role of a bridesmaid is to support and assist the bride prior, during and just after the wedding. A bridesmaid is the sounding board for any bride to  bounce off their ideas, worries and successes. It can be a tough, but rewarding gig.

As a bridesmaid, the main responsibility that you have is assisting the bride. The actual duties that you will be expected to perform are going to be varied depending on how much help the bride needs and how big the wedding actually is! One of the most important parts is going to be offering her support during a stressful time in her life. She needs a friend and that is what you are there for as her bridesmaid.

You will also be called upon to help her choose her wedding attire and maybe even help with picking out other items for the wedding including flowers and decorations. If the bride chooses to tackle some DIY projects, then it is likely that she will appreciate your assistance with those. Other tasks might include addressing envelopes, maintaining the RSVP list and other things of a similar nature.  Bridesmaids are also responsible for hosting the hen party and bridal shower, although if there is a Maid of Honour she will take the lead in those areas.

Typically a best friend or a close relative is her Matron/Maid of Honour and has a key role in being her confidant, lead support person and generally knows the bride better than she knows her self. She will help carry the bride’s dress and, generally, assists the bride’s mother with helping her get the bride’s dress on. She’s also usually a witness on the marriage certificate as well. The bridesmaids, while just as important, share in assisting on the day and play a lesser part to a certain degree.

On the wedding day, bridesmaids generally assist the bride to get ready in the morning prior to the ceremony. The bridesmaids will then have formal duties including walking down the aisle before the bride, carrying her bouquet, assisting in fluffing/fixing/primping her dress and veil, and joining the couple on the dance floor after their first dance.

 

How much money will I need to spend?

The amount of money that you will be required to spend is going to vary depending on the bride and her ideal of a reasonable budget, so it is something that you need to consider and you may want to talk it over with her in advance. While some brides pay for their bridesmaids’ outfits, hair and make-up, other brides may request the bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, shoes, etc.

The bridal party as a whole will sometimes put in for events in the lead up to the wedding such as the hens and bridal shower too, although modern tradition suggests that all attendees of the hen party pay their way and the bridal party splits the cost of the bride’s share.  If you are not prepared to shoulder some of the financial burden that comes as part of being a bridesmaid then it is best to politely decline.

How can I be a great bridesmaid?

– Offer to assist the bride in any way you can, from the general planning of the wedding to running errands or contacting suppliers on her behalf.

– Remember how we touched on being a sounding board? That’s key. Be a good listener and a tower of strength since the bride will need good friends around her, sometimes only to listen.

– You will be privy to the theme, style and finer details of the wedding day, so you’d better be good at keeping secrets!

– Organisation is key to being a success at this whole bridesmaid thing

– Your role becomes categorically defined on the big day, it’s your turn to step up and support her, make sure she has everything she needs and assist the matron/maid of honour

While most bridesmaids are supporting and caring towards the bride, some are so unsupportive and cause so many problems, they truly deserve the title of bridesmaid-zilla. Read the full article here.

Remember to enjoy yourself

It’s important to remember that weddings are about emotion and you will get a sense of just how much you mean to the bride during the planning of the wedding, the lead up preparations and the actual wedding day. It’s a connection that will likely last long after the day is over. It’s typical that a small gift as a token of the bride and groom’s appreciation is given to the bridal party at the conclusion of the wedding or at a  get together soon after.

While there may be tears, tantrums, extreme highs and subsequent lows in being involved in someone’s wedding, being a bridesmaid is as enjoyable as you make it! And, while there are no set rules, if you know how to be a good friend, you’re 90 per cent of the way to being the best bridesmaid your bride could hope you to be!