Did your future husband ask your father for permission to marry you?
Asking Dad’s Permission is a Popular Tradition
Almost 60% of grooms-to-be still ask their girlfriend’s father’s permission before they propose according to an Easy Weddings poll. While most people still see this as a charming and romantic gesture, as well as a mark of respect that will get the groom off on the right foot with dad, there are others that think it is an outdated chauvinistic tradition that has no place in a modern relationship.
The tradition of asking dad dates way back to a time when girls were thought of as their father’s possession until they married, at which point they would become the property of their new husband. These days asking dad before proposing is more about the groom getting the blessing of the bride’s family and proving that he has thought about the future and what a marriage proposal means.
For the groom the decision about whether to ask his future father-in-law can be a tricky one. Even the most fiercely independent girl might think that asking dad is still an essential part of getting engaged if she’s close to her father, while a girlfriend who is usually soppy, romantic, and traditional might suddenly take offence that her dad knew about the proposal before she did.
Whether to ask the bride’s father is still a personal decision, and while it’s not essential it is certainly worth considering. If the groom and dad get on well together, then it’s a lovely gesture, and if they don’t it might be a good way to form a bond; they’re going to be related soon after all. If the groom is hoping that the father of the bride will pay for a large amount of the wedding, then asking for permission is definitely a good way to get him on side.
There are a few modern alternatives to asking for the father’s permission which might seem more appropriate. Why not ask for his blessing rather than his permission? Perhaps you could ask the father and mother together which is a little less chauvinistic. Finally, how about proposing first and then going to her father together to ask for his blessing?