Is it OK to invite people to your hen's/buck's night even if they aren't invited to the wedding?

Great question! Of course it is, but be prepared to explain just in case you are asked why they weren’t invited in the first place.


If you have a legitimate reason for not inviting someone to the actual wedding, but would very much like them to attend your hen’s/buck’s night (ie. you are having an intimate family-only ceremony etc) tell them that.

Explain your reasons and they may very well understand, which is the best possible solution because nobody gets hurt; You have your friend in attendance on one of your truly special days and they don’t feel like they’ve been snubbed.

Related link: How do I tell someone they’re not invited to my wedding?

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Comments 6 comments

6 responses to “Is it OK to invite people to your hen's/buck's night even if they aren't invited to the wedding?”

  1. Jed Carhart says:

    I love the expression. Everyone needs to express there own opinion and feel free to hear others. Keep it up :)

  2. CatM says:

    My sister had a smallish wedding and for her hens she invited work mates and a few girlfriends who knew and didn’t mind that they were not invited to the wedding.  We all had a fantastic time!  Also i have been one of the hen’s night invited.  It was for a work friend and I was not invited to her wedding, It was absolutely not a big deal for me not to be invited to the wedding, and i was thrilled to be invited to the hen’s.  She was really open and honest about it all which is a major part of why i was not upset, or felt left out!!

    • Easy Weddings says:

      Thanks for the feedback, CatM! It’s great to know that it can work out and, you’re right, if you’re honest with your guests, most people understand!

  3. Staceymussared says:

    Due to money reasons, I can’t have cousins at my wedding, instead I have asked them to attend the hens night and bridal shower, I think its my way of showing I care about them and want them involved but unfortuantely can’t afford them at the wedding

  4. Kerrylyn says:

    I had this very situation to deal with…my solution was a variation of the suggestion above, but similar, and I share it in the hopes it helps…it is always hard managing expectations and feelings around these types of events.
    I spoke to those people at the time of inviting them to the hens event, and simply said (truthfully) that while our budget meant we sadly couldn’t extend an invitiation to as many of our wonderful friends as we might have liked to for the reception, I would be delighted if they wanted to come and join the fun for the ceremony (which was in a public place). Most people understand budget limitations, and they were delighted they could see us take our vows.

  5. Kaela says:

    I was once invited to an interstate hen’s night for a former workmate. She was having it quite a few months in advance, so I figured there’d still be time for the wedding invite to come thru. Spent $200 on flights, $200 on accommodation, and when she asked me for my home address, I got excited… Until a simple “Thank you for attending” card showed up. I was pretty miffed I’d spent all that money to go see her and she couldn’t even bother to spend $100 a plate on me. She also had the nerve to ask me to design her orders of service. Shame on me for assuming the invite was in the mail and spending the money… But still. Owch!

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