Asking for money instead of wedding gifts


Asking for money instead of wedding gifts is a bit of a taboo subject as some couples feel it looks a bit greedy, but your guests will want to get you something you will enjoy and if that means contributing to your honeymoon fund or a deposit on a new home they’re unlikely to mind. Find out more about asking for money instead of wedding gifts.

wishing well

There are polite and acceptable ways in which you can let your guests know that you would rather receive cash than actual gifts and as long as you explain what you plan to do with the money it shouldn’t be a problem. In actual fact, there is nothing wrong in asking for cash as traditionally your guests are expected to give you something so it may as well be money instead of a gift.

Using a wedding wishing well

A great way to deal with this situation is to use a wedding wishing well. They can be ordered from speciality suppliers or custom made to suit your needs. They can be as elaborate or simple as your wedding and can be designed to blend in with your wedding decorations. If you have chosen a green and cream theme you can festoon the well with these colours. If the couple is having a particular flower as their wedding motif it can be painted onto the wishing well. It is totally up to the bride and groom.

Some of your guests will know immediately that the wishing well is intended for cash gifts. However, it might be an unfamiliar concept for other guests so it is a good idea to include an explanation with your invitation. You would do this by including a card with the invitation just as you would with a gift list. As you would expect there are some etiquette guidelines you should adhere to when including information about your wedding wishing well with the wedding invitation.

It is perfectly appropriate to include a card in your invitation explaining the wishing well but this card should be separate from the invitation itself and not attached to it. A simple explanation or illustration can be enough or you can think up of a cute poem or phrase to explain your request for money instead of gifts, just make sure it is obvious enough so that all of your guests can understand.

Some people are just not comfortable giving cash or would prefer to buy you something special so mention that a traditional gift is always welcome. Being a gracious bride you should gratefully accept all gifts.

A wedding wishing well does not have to be used just for accepting monetary gifts. At wedding showers, wishing wells can be useful for recipe cards, kitchen utensils, linens, or other small items that are needed when setting up home. Your wishing well can be used for all your wedding events and you can redecorate it to fit in at each event or keep it simple so that it will blend in at any wedding occasion.

wishing well

Explain the purpose of the money

Most guests don’t like the idea of you using monetary gifts to pay for the wedding – they’d rather pay for their own drinks or dinner and also give you an actual gift. Ideally you should simply explain on your wedding wishing well card whatever you and your new husband have decided to use the money for – perhaps to pay for your honeymoon, or to save for the future.

Set up a wedding gift account

There is a simpler alternative to a wishing well if you’re asking for money instead of wedding gifts. You can just set up a wedding account with your bank or your travel agent that guests can pay funds directly into. Simply include a card with your invitation that contains the contact and account information, or post in on your wedding website. In the digital age that we live in your guests will most likely appreciate the convenience of being able to sort out your wedding present from their tablet or smartphone in just a few simple steps.


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