A list of mother of the bride duties for mum

Having a daughter that’s getting married can have a big impact on a mother. She may feel like she’s losing her little girl or that she must be getting old if her daughter is ready to be a bride. She might want to be involved in everything or she might be worried about being the centre of attention on the big day. Here are some tips on managing the mother of the bride.

Discuss the guest list early on

Ask your mother to write the names of those guests who she would ideally like to invite, you write the same, and then sit down to compare the two. Some mothers consider that they should be the ones to decide on your wedding guest list, often prioritising relatives and family friends, and excluding your friends and colleagues, so you should decide together on the guests you need to invite and then try to compromise on the rest.

Help her choose her wedding outfit

Reserve a whole day, or even a weekend away to go shopping with your mum, and help her find something that will make her feel confident and elegant on your big day. Apart from the dress she wore to her own wedding, the outfit your mother will wear to yours will be the most important item of clothing she has ever bought.

Many mothers are tempted to go for something they wouldn’t normally wear, but sticking to a style they are comfortable with will allow them to enjoy the big day without worrying about how they look. She doesn’t have to wear the same colour as the bridesmaids, but make sure her outfit blends in with the colour scheme of the wedding as she will appear in a lot of the photos with the rest of the wedding party.

Talk the budget through with her

If you are following tradition and your family are paying for the wedding, you will want to draw up a budget early on and discuss it with them. Involve them every step of the way and let them know if you go over budget at certain items. You can talk about ways to reduce your spending in other areas to compensate.

Allocate a specific task to her

Whether it is your invitations, your flowers, or your cake, decide on one area of your wedding that your mother can organise and make all the decisions about to prevent her from interfering in the rest of your arrangements. Make sure it is something you are not too fussed about, otherwise letting your mother organise it will just cause more tension.

Ask for her opinion and listen to her advice

Ask her opinion and advice on any issues you are having with your wedding organisation and keep her up to date on how the plans are coming along. Chatting to you about the wedding will make your mother feel involved in your plans.

Choose an appropriate way to show your gratitude

A daughter’s wedding can be a very stressful time for a mother, even if she is not completely responsible for the arrangements, so be sure to let her know you appreciate her input. Whether you give your mother a small thank you gift at your rehearsal dinner, or flowers on the wedding day, finding a way to say thank you will let her know how grateful you are for the effort she has put into your big day.