Funny wedding vows to include in your ceremony


bride and groom laughing

Your wedding vows are not only one of the highlights of your big day, they’re also a public declaration of your love for your spouse-to-be – but that doesn’t mean they can’t be funny or, at the very least, amusing. Here are 16 funny wedding vows and snippets guaranteed to bring out a giggle or two from the crowd – and, especially, your beloved.

– I promise to hold off secretly watching episodes of *whatever TV show we are watching together* –     until we are actually together.

– I vow to love every last bit of you… even your snoring and love of terrible ‘80s ballads!

– I, (insert your name), take you (insert fiance’s name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold       from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, for even poorer when I’ve been     shopping, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us     part.

– I promise to always love you… even during footy season.

– In front of our friends and family gathered here, I promise to love and cherish you in good times and   in bad. I promise to put down the toilet seat – and to replace the toilet roll when it’s over and to           never, ever, ever forget our wedding anniversary or your birthday.

– I vow to always do all the stuff neither of us wants to do when I know that you really, really           don’t want to do it a lot more than I really, really don’t want to do it.

– Groom Nathan made a very modern social media-friendly vow to bride Cara: “I promise to like    your ‘selfies’ within a reasonable time frame.”

– I vow to stand by your side, John, when the zombie apocalypse comes and, should you be turned         into one, I promise to let you bite me, so I can too be one and, therefore, stay by your side forever.

– I promise never to keep score… even when I am clearly winning.

– With the deepest joy, I promise to cherish you,
To support and honour you,

  To frustrate and challenge you,
  And to share with you the wonderful moments in life.
  And, someday, if the stars align,
  I may even let you win an argument.

– When I say ‘I do,’ I don’t mean the dishes.

– Rugby loving bride and groom Chelsea and Chris immortalised their sporting affiliations in            their wedding vows with the line ‘I promise to always shout the Queenslander chant with you      during State of Origin matches’

– Celebrant to bride: Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Bride: I do.

  Celebrant to groom: Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Bride: He does.

– I declare, in front of our family and friends, that I will love you and cherish you for richer or          poorer, in sickness and in health. I vow to stand by you through every obstacle, and should          the <insert favourite sports team> lose, I will console you and, should they win, I promise to        join you in a beer.

– I, Fred, do solemnly swear to protect you, Mabel, from spiders as long as we both shall live.

Green eggs and vows?

– Aside from being very amusing, these oh-so-clever Dr Seuss-inspired wedding vows are also       ridiculously sweet and, in addition to giggling your way through them, you may just find               yourself sporting a tiny tear or two.

Dr. Seuss Wedding Vows from Greg Savage on Vimeo.

Whether you opt for funny wedding vows or not, you may be looking for some inspiration. Here are 25+ fun vows for modern couples.


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