Who to choose as best man

Who to choose as best man can be a difficult decision and if your man is asking for your advice, you should both think about it carefully. Sometimes there might be obvious choices, such as his brother, a friend he’s known since school, or someone else who is especially close to him. But there are times when it might not be that easy to make the decision.

The best man should be someone that is close enough to the groom to organise a stag party he will enjoy, sensible enough to remember the rings and to ensure the wedding is running smoothly, sociable enough to entertain your guests, and confident enough to give a great speech.

Here are a few things to keep in mind when your groom is picking his best man:

What do you want from a best man?

Talk about the kind of wedding you want before you make a decision. Will it be fun or formal, relaxed or refined? If you and your groom really don’t want to hear a humiliating speech about what he got up to in his bachelor days, he should make sure he picks a best man that won’t do anything like that.

Family should come first

A brother is a traditional choice for best man and if your fiancé really feels stuck between his brother and his best friend it might be the safest choice to ask his brother. The friend will most likely agree with the old saying that blood is thicker than water and the groom could always ask is best mate to be master of ceremonies or to do something else in the wedding.

Where is your best man located?

It might seem a bit of a practical approach but your fiancé may want to select a best man who lives nearby, or at least in the same country. The best man will have to organise the stag party, come to suit fittings and wedding rehearsals, and manage the ushers. All of this is not easy if he can only fly in the night before the special day.

You can always go with more than one

An oxymoron yes, but it is possible to pick more than one “best man”. This often happened if your groom has previously been best man for a number of guys and he feels obliged to pick them all in order to keep things fair.

When you have two best men you can share out the responsibilities according to their strengths. Ask the most organised to hang on to the rings for the ceremony and manage the running of the day, and the most confident and articulate to deliver the best man speech.

Your fiancé has to make the final decision about who should be his best man, you can only guide him. In spite of practicalities and protocol, your groom’s best man should be the person he really wants to have next to him as you walk down the aisle, not just the guy he feels he ought to be picking or the one he thinks will make the best speech.